Q & A


Shalom.  Welcome to Q & A with Reb Eli.
A quick word:  A classic compilation of rabbinical teachings known as Ethics of the Fathers states, “The shy person does not learn.”  Since the shy person is afraid to ask, he misses out on opportunities to hear new insights and gain clarity on issues in which he has a certain lack of comprehension.  So, please don’t hold back from asking.  Every question will be recieved with acceptance and respect.
All questions can be submitted to eliyahuyaakov@lightuntoournation.com
If you’d like our correspondance to remain anonymous or not be presented here at all, indicate that in your email and I will honor your request.

Q: (from Matt)  another random question. My father’s not Jewish, and my mother’s Sephardi. I was raised with some Sephardi customs, some Ashkenazi. Is there a certain custom I should choose? Also, since I was raised a little mixed, can I choose different laws and customs from each?

A:  Matt- I wouldn’t say you “can’t” take a little from this and a little from that.  However, the Jewish ideal is that each Jew be connected as a link in a chain back to Moses. One of the applications of this is to be attached to a ‘mesorah’, chain of tradition. This means having a clear connection to Judaism in a way that it is apparent that it was passed down to you. This can be family-based, community-based, yeshiva-based, rebbe-based, preference-based, etc., but best that one finds a clear and distinguished path to connected to from the previous generation, as opposed to hopping from one thing to the next. As one finds one’s way to and within Judaism, hopefully one leans more towards the teacher/yeshiva/community that he/she identifies with.

~EY

Q: (From Anonymous)  Why do some Jews have sidelocks (known as payot)?

 A:  The Torah teaches that Jewish males should not cut the hair from the corner of his head (nor have the hair from the corner of his head cut by someone else) with a razor/blade. Most electric shavers are known to not cut the hair at its root and are therefore considered ok according to Jewish law.

 There are 13 points of the beard which correspond to G-d’s 13 Attributes of Mercy - the beard recieves the flow of G-d’s mercy in the world. This is one reason why we are not supposed to cut it with a razor, and why some people don’t cut the beard at all.

 The payot is included in this and considered by some as ‘not part of the beard, yet the starting point of the beard’ (corresponding to “HaShem HaShem” of attributes of Mercy)

 Another reason for payot is that just as the payot starts from the head and goes down to the heart and the rest of the body, so too the mind should have influence over the heart - we should be passionate about the right things.

 ~EY

Q:  (Warren from Atlanta)   So i found out that British means covenant of man in Hebrew, and that the British royal family can be traced back to the lost tribes. Does that translate correctly?

 A:  “Britain” means “lacking a covenant”, or “uncircumcised” in Hebrew. Being that British people are only called “British” because they come from Britain, it would appear the name would actually imply the opposite. As for the claim on the royal family, I’ve never heard it before, and even if they have Jewish blood they certainly would not be considered Jewish according to Jewish law until they could prove that their mother’s mother’s…was a Jew.

 ~EY

Q: (From Elana of New Jersey, USA)  Hello! Here’s my question. How do we distinguish between a message from God intended to guide us towards the right path and a ploy by the evil inclination intended to push us onto the wrong path. For example, if we feel a really strong aversion to doing something how do we determine if A) we are really supposed to refrain from taking that particular action and therefore God is aiding us by allowing us to feel that aversion so we should further avoid it at all costs or B) this is something we really should be doing and therefore our evil inclination is pushing us as hard as possible in the opposite direction so in actuality we should try our best to overcome that aversion. (Sorry that was a little wordy)

A: Elana- Firstly, I empathise with your question as this is something that I struggle with on-and-off aswell.  From what I’ve learned and discovered, the more a person is doing the right things in their life in general and the more one is on a path towards growth, the more a person will have clarity and not be plagued by the constant looking over one’s own shoulder.

There is an idea frequently discussed in chassidic thought, but unfortunately I think it’s often misunderstood.  This idea is called Emunah P’shuta, Simple Faithfulness.  Now, we are not talking here about a person turning off his brain and having “blind faith”.  On the contrary, Judaism encourages rational thought and reasoned questioning.  Emunah P’shuta means not to overly think; not to rationalize yourself out of rational thought; not to raise every single “what if” in the world.  According to Judaism, questions such as, “What if we all really popped into existence 3 seconds ago with a brain pre-programmed with 30 years worth of memories?” or “What if we don’t really exist?” isn’t wisdom, its foolish. 
Judaism is about balance for the purpose of maximizing the experience of life.  Emuna P’shuta means that while there is the proper time to question, there is also a point at which questions become irrational, purposeless and personally desturctive.
I’d add that for clarity in such situations a person should be praying. Additionally, you should connect with wise and righteous people for guidance and advice (to connect with the right people is also something that should be prayed for)

One more tip: Here is how certain books may approach your question (this is not simple but is a process):
1) Stregthen yourself in the knowledge that every single thing that happens to you happens b/c G-d wants it to.
2) Strengthen yourself in the knowledge that every single thing Gd does is for the your absolute best.
3) Once a person truly has these things down and is totally conscious of them at all times, a person will truly be happy with anything that happens - including his situation - and he will be able to see things in a much clearer way.

For more on this topic and on how to achieve this, I recommend the book “The Garden of Emunah”, which you can get here: http://www.breslovworld.com/banner/TheGardenofEmuna.asp

If you would like to talk further privately, email me and we can set up a time.
~EY
Q: (from Miriam)  Hi,  Can you please remind me why we aren’t allowed to drink non-Kosher wine? I remember there was something related to it leading to intermingling, etc and I was trying to explain it to someone…
Your knowledge is appreciated! Thanks in advance
A:  What you say is true, but here is a deeper understanding:
Wine comes out from within the grape. Its place is hidden within, and therefore its essence is to not be a part of our revealed world. Even though the wine has a certain attachment to the grape in the fact that it is contained within the grape, the wine is separate from the body of the grape and stands alone. The same holds true with man: Even though man is in the physical world, his consciousness is an existence that is not physical.
The Talmud teaches that every nation, has a gift (a wisdom) to bring to the world. The Jewish contribtion is Torah - spirituality and morality.  Therefore, the level that the Jewish People reach has no connection with the physical, only that which the wine has to the grape.  As we’ve seen, wine is a physical manifestation of this inner spirituality, therefore for a Jew (the bearer of spirituality) to partake of non-Jewish wine is itself to nullify the unique inner essence of the Jew.
~EY

Q: (from Matt)  While my first question was more of a joke, it reminded me of one I had before that never got answered. Does logic exist outside of Gd? ie, is He bound by logic, or could he change the rules of logic if He so desired..?

A:  Matt- what do you mean by “logic”?- ‘the rationale way we deduce things based on our finite universe’?
if thats what you mean by “logic”, then I’d have to say yes - Gd isn’t limited by the limitations of time and space.
For example, can Gd be in more than one place at once?
Well, since Gd isnt limited by the concept of ‘place’, the answer would be yes.
Or, on the other hand, since Gd is not limited at all, can He really be ‘in’ any ‘place’ at all?
You see really its both yes and no at the same time. Yet, the real problem with the question lies in the questioner - the question is being asked from a limited perspective. A human being with a brain (’gray MATTER’) is asking the question - it is only a question when we are looking at it from his perspective. This is what I meant before when I said that there is an initial controdiction in the question itself.
~EY

Q: (from Matt)  Could Gd microwave a burrito so hot, that even He could not eat it?

A:  Matt-  Could Gd make a squared triangle?
Theres a controdiction in the question itself: By definition squares and triangles both exist in space and by definition a square is 4-sided and a triangle is 3-sided, so the question itself is flawed.

Since there’s no such thing as a physical burrito so hot that “Gd can’t eat it”, there is a flaw in the premise of your question (not to mention that Gd eating would put Gd in the physical and thereby limit Gd)

~EY
Q: (from Kevin in Atlanta)
Can you do something in place of fasting on Yom Kippur?
A: Kevin- nope.
fasting is the most important thing to do on Yom Kippur.
If you are forced to choose between praying and fasting, you should choose fasting.  If there is a personal situation, you’d like to discuss, feel free to email me about it and we can discuss further.
~EY

Q: (from Miriam of Toronto)
hi - how are you?
i have a question..
in judaism- is it ok to pray to Gd for specific kinds of things– i.e. personal prayers?
Is there a notion that we shouldnt bother Gd with trivial issues, like to succeed on an exam, for example?
Just wondering…
BTW- i always have random Qs
A: Miriam-
Great to hear from you!
So, you can ask Gd for anything. Nothing “bothers” Gd - its not like youre taking Gd away from what He was doing.
But I get what youre saying about how one may feel uneasy about asking for “trivial” things.
Really, we must need to understand that Gd doesnt need our prayers. We need to pray - its for us, not Gd.  So while one COULD pray for success on an exam, we must ask ourselves, what difference does it make if I do well or not? Is it something I should really care about?
The question isn’t can I bother Gd with it; the question should be: should this really be an issue for ME in the first place?
What I mean is this: When we pray for a sick person to be healed, the best way to do that is to make it to something meaningful. For example, Instead of asking for Gd to heal him b/c you miss him, etc., ask Gd to heal him so he can be enabled to do things that build his connection to Gd (the purpose of creation) - & dont just ask it, mean it…
Sometimes its tough, but really we’re supposed to make this our true concern – in matter of fact, when you think about it, it’s the only thing that matters. Instead of worrying that we’re wasting Gd’s time with trivial things; we should worry that we’re wasting our own time looking at the world in a trivial way.
Same thing with the exam: the best way to look at it, in my opinion is to say to Gd: “I want to get close to you, and in order to do that I need to eat, and in order to do that I need to support myself, and in order to that I need a job, and in order to get that I need to do well in school.” Now you’ve turned a trivial act into an act infused with holiness. This is what Judaism is all about.
~EY

Q: (From Avram of NY)  i know the ‘basic’ reasoning for the 4 ‘bows’ during the amidah as relating to how we’d approach a king in his court … But are there any other reasons? And why do we bow where we bow?

A:  Bowing is a sign, expression, and act of humility and submission.
This is actually the primary goal of prayer & meditation: to lead a person to focus on Gd’s infinity and attributes, thereby leading him to recognize his own dependancy assosiation with Gd.  You may have had an experience of being in the presence of someone you had an incredible admiration and awe for - you feel uplifted just being in his presence.  At that moment, all of your normal stupidities and self-contradictions fall away, and you see things from a higher place; from an elevated and more enlightened consciousness.  Not only is this higher self that you have just become in thanks to that inspirational individual, but (as of now) it is dependant upon him, because when you leave his presence, it is only a matter of time before we slip back into our lower selves. Only later, once you have worked on yourself do you transform yourself into truly being that elevated person of higher consciousness.  This work to bring out the elevated, higher, godly side of ourselves is what we call Avodat HaShem, Godly Work -that is, work to bring out and actualize who we truly are - a soul - a spark of godliness.  The bowing is the conscious awareness that, while we are asserting ourselves in this Divine Work actualize our potentials, we are simultaneously completely dependant on Gd at our essence.
The first blessing is the most important and sets the tone, so it makes sense to bow in that blessing.  Additionally it is all about where we came from, where we are at, and where we are going - past, present, and, future - one of the essential ways we understand (or don’t) Gd -that He is beyond the concepts of time and space.
The blessing called ‘Modim’ is all about thanking Gd. When you thank someone for something, you are admitting that you yourself didnt do it, rather you needed that person’s assistance - this is why the Hebrew word for thank and admit is actually the same word: ‘modeh”.  So, in particular, the blessing in which we are thanking Gd for everything is most connected to humility and submission - what bowing is all about.
~EY